Sunday, March 28, 2010

Approach = success

My friend Owen says that in order to be successful one must lower his criteria for success. At first this seems like a "low expectation" statement. However, that's not true. Successful people often start off very unsuccessful. Their burning desire for success and passion for the work itself is what fuels their energy. Continuing to fail over and over again, while keeping your eyes open to improvement is what makes improvement possible. Success is not quitting even when all seems like a loss and your outcomes aren't what they should be. Ironically, when you finally do acheive some success, you begin to expect the most positive outcome and you feel unsuccessful when it doesn't happen for you. Now there's something to live up to. The fire dims and the burning desire is extinguished. Sports taught me this lesson time and time again.

In dating it is especially true that one must lower their criteria for success. Too many people want perfection in all areas of dating and this leads to massive frustration. Frustration is the seed of inaction and nothing gets you worse results in dating than inaction.

If Success in dating is taking action, then what is a man to do? Approach. Women approach you now and then, but it is the responsibility of the man to take the lead. This last weekend approaching was the only criteria I used for success.

On Saturday I went to Club Swing. I arrived with three other friends of mine, Geno, Robbie, and matt. We like to hang out together, but all of us understand why we're at the club. Yes we're at the club to meet women. Women say they're there to dance, drink, etc. This is true, but in their heart of hearts they're all hoping to meet that one guy. That guy could be any of us.

I approach a group of about eight girls. This is terrible logistically, because it can be VERY tricky separating a girl from her pack. Neverthless, success is approach and nothing more. The girls are relatively warm except for one that gives me a nasty face. She says "I don't get guys. What are thinking? What makes them think girls are interested in them?" This is hilarious. I can't speak for all men, but personally I could give a fuck whether a girl is interested or not. It doesn't even factor into why I'm approaching. The approach itself is fun and you don't know what's going to happen until you do approach. A better question could be, why WOULDEN'T I approach???I say back "I don't know. Mostly I'm thinking about molesting girls. I have a white van outside." She freaks out and takes her friends away. haha.

I meet this really cute blonde girl. She likes me, but I get the feeling that her night is not one that will involve a lot of madness. A. she has to work in the morning and B. I can feel it in her body. She's tense. Tension is not good. I move onto a girl sitting on a couch. I sit down next to her and assume familiarity.If you approach as a longime friend, people will more likely treat you as such, stranger or not. I say "This seat is cold. Luckily I'm a mammal and I make my own heat." I say whatever pops into my head. It doesn't have to be good. In fact the shittier your opening line the better. If you try to be too clever it appears planned and who wants to talk to a guy that plans everything out. Boring delux. On the fly/spontaneous is the way to be.

It goes well, but a funny thing happens. Because I assumed familiarity a little too well she thinks I'm with her party. After maybe thirty minutes she says "so how do you know joey" I say "uhhh I don't." Then she says "So you're just some random creeper?" I say "Yes that's exactly what I am. I'm your stalker. I've been following you now for some time and I'm glad we finally had a chance to meet." After that it steadily deteriorates. haha. I coulda played this one solid, but I still coulden't resist. If its funny to me I say it.

I approached all night. There wasn't too much going on, except for one drunk girl I could have easily pulled home. I didn't. Its really no fun babysitting a sloppy drunk. No fun for her or you and it leads to too much weirdness. I go home. I approached and thus the night is a success.

On Saturday I intended to stay in my neighborhood but ended up going to hang out with Geno, Robbie, and my roomate in Geno's neighborhood. We go to Moonstone and Its pretty much dead. Independent man as I am I go to McKinney's, a bar across the way to see whats going on. I approach a blonde on the dancefloor while she's dancing and immediately Its on. After one dance I lead her off the dancefloor and outside. We start making out and escalate physically. I decide Its time to take her to my car. I'm leading her away and then out of the shadows comees her annoying friend.

"NOOOOO! You can't leave past this point right here" she points to the part of the bar on the outside where the windows end. Arrgh. Well, since I can't have it right now I get the number and figure I'll give it a try later on.

I decide to go back to my own neighborhood. I head to The Ox, which is a bar that has a little dancefloor, but is mostly just a social place. There's a lot of loosely organized social circles, which can make it a bit odd when you're alone. However, as in all things, when you're comfortable, other people are comfortable as well. I know the doorguy, so I skip the line and go in. There's a very hot brunette with a group of other girls. I go right in and start chatting her. Within a few minutes I pull her to the dancefloor. I'm not an amazing dancer, but that's ok. Just being comfortable makes me alright. This girl is a bit shy. Its odd how sometimes very attractive girls can be shy, but fuck don't try to "make sense" of girls. Its an emotional/hormonal trip for them, not a mathematical equation.

I'm in a good place with this girl. She's following my lead. However, she's with a bachelorette party. Ugggh. Not good. Big groups are tough and Bachelorette parties are statisically the worst group for hookups. It can happen, but for the most part Its not worth your effort. Nonthless I'm really liking this girl and it appears mutual. We go back and meet her friends. The friends of course are in silly bachelorette mode. Very attractive girls mind you, but not worth the effort. I'm able to keep my girl isolated for pretty long periods of time, which is good. When you're able to isolate a girl she's far less self conscious. The key is to get her from isolation in the bar to isolation elsewhere. The car is a good place. While car sex can be tricky, it can also be a lot of fun :)

I try to get her to the car twice, but she just won't leave the group. This is trouble, but now that I've invested my time I have to keep going. Its closing time and she still won't leave her party. I tell her that we can go get food around the corner. She says "ok, but I have to tell my girls." I say "lets go and you can text them and let them know where we are." She's ok with that. I Lead her to Denny's around the corner. We're in Denny's and alone. Good. Ten minutes later the cavalry comes. Fuck! Well now I'm babysitting 8 girls. Normally that's VERY hard. However, I actually seem to be winning over the group and as it turns out the girl I'm with is the den mom. A man that hangs with the den mom commands the respect of the rest of the girls.

The biggest problem with venue changes is the inevitable drop in energy. You go from dancing, alcohol, and Lady Gaga, to being in Denny's where the food is shit, the coffee is weak, and some drunk dude is vommiting into a bag...yes really in the restaurant. We eat and then Its time to go. I try to get my girl to ride with me, but no go. Fuck it one more try. I tell her that if she doesn't come with me I'm going to have to pick her up and take her. All with a smile on my face of course. She says "sorry but I can't leave my girls. I say "ok then" I pick her up, put her over my shoulder and start to run away. Then I hear "NOOOOO you can't take my sister!!!" Tough to fight with the sister, so I put her down and she says "Hey I had a really good time." Haha, she coulda had a better time. We both know it. However, I'm ok with it. If approaching is the only criteria for success then I'm a resounding success and deserve a massive pat on the back for all of my weekend adventures.

Here's a word on success by Dr. Stephen Covey

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Almost had to fight tonight...

This almost never happens. Really it doesn't. I'm 6'1, 210 lbs, well built, and my ears bare the scars of many battles. Generally I get left alone by other men. Tonight was a little different.

I'm supposed to meet up with my friend Geno. Geno is what the laymen refer to as a pimp. He even teaches other guys how to improve their pimp factor for money. Cool job. Geno is a a little late, so I begin the night on my own. I chat up some people in this small bar called Stillwater. Stillwater generally doesn't have much going on, but you never know.

I'm leaning up against the wall near he jukebox, when a girl walks by. She's cute. We make eye contact and I pull her towards me. Immediately I feel her relax, like she can be at ease now that I've taken her. I massage her shoulders a bit. The reason I massage is that it plays to a strength of mine, my hands. I'm good with my hands. She asks me what I'm doing tomorrow. I tell her I'm going to be chilling at home. She tells me to get her number. As I'm reaching for my phone she says "hurry, my ex-husband is here. I see him looking for me." Uh oh. I put the number in anyways.

In my last post I spoke of infidelity and how normal it is. I really believe this to be true and I don't have a problem sleeping with women that have boyfriends and husbands. If I'm not doing it, I KNOW someone else will. That said, I don't SEEK OUT these relationships. Anything that has a drama factor for me loses points, and non-single women especially carry drama. However, when the circumstances are so that I don't have to deal with angry husbands or boyfriends and Its not one of my friend's girls, I really don't care. People cheat and there's nothing any of us can do to change this truth.

So after I get the number I walk off to another section of the bar. Several minutes later a big guy stands right in front of me blocking me off. I know EXACTLY what this is. Territorial act of aggression. Its a monkey with a bigger brain doing monkey business. The girl I was talking to walks by and then the guy turns to me. He gives me the finger and starts screaming at me. "PUSSY! LETS GO! FUCK YOU!" Jesus...the last thing I need in my life is a street fight. Street fights are for idiots. Even if you win you can get hurt or in a lot of trouble. Grown men need not fight unless the safety of their friends, family, or themselves is at stake. This guy wants to fight me because his ex-wife, visiting from the opposite coast, wants to fuck me. He's probably got her here to try to win her back. Jealous. Desperate. Ultra protective of one of the few girls he's ever laid. Chump deluxe. Nevertheless I gotta deal with his sorry ass now. I look him in the eye and say "calm down." He keeps trying to advance towards me and the girl is now in front of him blocking his way. The crowd just looks on. Ha! Its funny how ineffective people are in any crisis. They'd rather watch a movie than be in the movie. I stand my ground and repeat "calm down." I turn, keeping the corner of my eye on the couple and then they exit the bar. Crisis averted.

One could easily point their finger at me in this situation and say "Seeeee that's what you get pal." I'm going to choose to look a little deeper. Its the chump's fault. If he were a cool guy he wouldn't tolerate a girl that would disrespect him like that. A cool guy certainly wouldn't be jealous of a random guy she just met. Jealousy is the emotion of the insecure and women don't respect insecure men. If it were me in his situation, I would either physically pick my girl up and take her away, or walk out the bar and find a new woman if she was there to meet other men. If another man successfully picked up my girl, tough as it would be, I would have to admit that at least on that night he was cooler than me. The best man always wins, or at least the man with the best game.

In the end the chump was successful on one level. I will NOT be calling this girl. He created enough drama to keep me at bay. However, he probably didn't earn any points with his ex-wife by acting like a little immature middle schooler. My lord. If he did then props to him for understanding the wacky needs of his ex. Women aside, Its sad that some men have to go through their entire lives needy, jealous, and insecure.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Infidelity the norm?

Infidelity has always been a favorite topic of trashy tabloid peddlers. Of course they love infidelity stories because the people love it. Its especially satisfying when the couple is married and seemingly has everything going for them. The higher the couple is on the social standing totem pole, the more gratifying it is to knock them down. The tabloids and the people are having a great year. Tiger Woods, Jesse James, John Edwards (the list goes on) are all having extramarital affairs. How wonderful for the general public and the parasitic media.

Its interesting that the reported offenders are always men. There's another common myth out there that men cheat and women cry. If you have the displeasure of reading MSN or Yahoo dating articles (stop reading. Its anything but expert advice), you'll occasionally come across articles with titles like "why do men cheat?" Yes men do cheat...but so do women. I know women cheat because I and many of my friends have had sex with women that have boyfriends and husbands. Maybe your girlfriend or wife :) If so, sorry about that. Some of these women have husbands risking their necks in Iraq and Afghanistan. But Adam you say, these women are "BAD" women. "Good" women behave. I don't know about all that. Good and Bad are very general terms that people like using to make sense in a senseless universe. Its not really fair to peg a person as entirely bad or entirely good. Sure you have your Joseph Stalins and Adolph Hitlers, but most people are alright, and pretty much everyone has different sides of themselves; some positive and some not. We have all done things in our past that we are not proud of and most of us have done some good as well.

On the top of the not proud of list, most would add cheating. However, I'm going to propose something that may surprise and shock. You shouldn't feel THAT bad. Humans weren't really meant to live under the monogamy myth. What is this myth you ask? The myth of monogamy is that you can find one person that fulfills you physically, mentally, and spiritually, so much so, that you either forget about other members of the opposite sex or you can be happy with that one person FOREVER. This is a nice story to tell yourself, but Its also a bullshit story. You will absolutely be attracted to members of the opposite sex (not including your partner) for the rest of your days. Given the opportunity you will have sex with these people. Its no mistake that most cheating occurs on vacation or business trips, where one most likely won't have to deal with any aftermath.

Infidelity occurs far too often to be only done by "bad" people. The people that have affairs are not bad people, but are made to FEEL bad by others, who given the opportunity would do the same. People will claim until their dying day that they would NEVER cheat, because it goes against the Disney story we are supposed to be living; but Its just not true. Not everyone has the opportunity. This lack of opportunity stems from the possibility of social repercussions and/or the inability to attract. The social repercussions are self-explanatory. Inability to attract is fairly simple. Some guys have no game (some women too, but far fewer.) Many guys get married because they are scared that no other woman could ever love them or they believe they will lose their ability to attract women. Very sad indeed for these men and their wives.

My favorite cheater is Tiger Woods. Tiger, like so many others bought into the Disney story and then found out it was a lie. He couldn't be happy with one woman, regardless of her beauty or charm. It would never be enough. Luckily he had EVERY opportunity to have sex with beautiful women and so he took it. Tiger didn't need much game, because he had massive social status backing him up. However, he didn't fear the social repercussions and paid for it dearly. What's really sad is that people feel so justified knocking down Tiger. The attitude is "oh well he cheated, he DESERVES to be crucified. I'd never do that." Bullshit. You'll cheat if you can attract and get away with it.

The women involved in celebrity affairs usually have very little trouble coming forward. Its funny, but a woman having sex with a high profile guy doesn't lose any status. If she fucks the plumber and gets caught, you just WATCH what happens in her social circle. The women in high profile sex scandals are typically portrayed as victims. The attitude is something like... "well she had to fuck him. After all, he was Tiger." This nonsense stems from the idea that women are the victims of sexual advances by men. The higher his status, the less her responsibility and the more victimized she is. The women weren't attracted to these men? The women are every bit as responsible, but it is seldom spun that way. Our culture says that men want sex more than women and women just want love. Excuse me for a moment...I feel nauseas. Is it any mystery why MSN reports "the men who cheat and why."? Its truly a two way street unless you're into blow up dolls.

Cultural myths aside, humans are biological beings. We shit, we puke, we eat, and when our genetics benefit we fuck. Yes we, men and women alike, are animals. We are simply animals with consciousness and the ability to spin our own (sometimes destructive) myths. Before you point your finger at these celebrities for cheating, you might want to ask yourself this question. What are your opportunities and what would you do if there were no consequences?

and what do the Australians think?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Large Women



Its a rainy Saturday. It doesn't rain much where I live and when it does people tend not to go out as much. However, the rain Isn't going to stop me. I haven't been downtown in a couple of weeks and I'm eager to get back.

DISCLAIMER: The names of the people and clubs have been changed to protect the innocent...and perhaps the guilty as well.

I meet up with my friend Alex. Alex knows a girl that has a group of girls coming downtown on a party bus. Its good to have girl allies in the club. Even if you don't hook up with any of them, when girls see other girls responding positively to a man they tend to assume he's alright.

We're at the bar in the downstairs part of club Swing. Club Swing is huge. There are 3 floors and a roofdeck. Due to the rain Club Swing is kinda dead, so we bounce to Schooners. Schooners is high energy. It can be very difficult to work, but Its busy and there will be opportunities to warm up. Meeting girls is like exercise. You can do it without warming up, but in doing so you risk injury.

To get going I just stand in one place and pull girls in towards me. Yes I grab the girls and no it seldom is a problem. We're taught by society not to touch and to ask for permission before being physical; but Its completely counter-prodctive and girls will respond better emotionally when you get physical quickly. The worst thing that happens is that girls tell me to stop and when that happens (rarely) I stop. The girls generally don't have to tell me when they're uncomortable. I can feel it. If there's any tension in her body I back off. If there's no tension I escalate. Study after study indicates that most communication is non-verbal and my own study(story) has confirmed it.

The first one that hits is an older chubby girl. These are not my favorite at all, but in my experience, girls are girls and what works with the chubby older women will work for supermodels. I practice on everyone. I pull her in and there's no tension. I begin to ecalate. Light touching, followed by light kissing. After that I let her go. Bait, hook, release. Its like fishing. I'm not going to keep the fish that I don't want. There are other men in the pond hungrier than I.

After warming up a bit we head back to Swing. Its busier now and time to work. I'm on the second floor and a group of girls walks by. There's one, early twenties, heavier set that looks my direction. The eye contact Isn't friendly. She's giving me a mad dog look. This is a challenge so I return the look, then I motion for her to come over. When she comes I immediately pull her in and makeout with her. There's no resistance. The fish is hooked, but I let her go. Again Its not what I want. She asks for my number and I give it to her. I have no problem giving out my number and asking for theirs. You don't have to bed every new contact, but often new contacts will result in new opportunities of some kind (club guestlist, hotter girlfriends, etc.)

I walk up to the roofdeck. Its not as good as usual due to rain, but there are people upstairs. I lock eyes with a cute redhead. Redheads and blondes are my favorites. Suddenly there's recognition. She comes over hugs me and I pick her up and swing her around, whilst she wrapps her legs around me. Women love it when I pick them up (physically.) Its Jenny. I met Jenny at a party more than a year ago. She's cute, but not hot by any stretch. However men love her because she's a lot of fun and very sexual. She makes people feel good. Good emotions equals good times. We hung out a couple of times after that, but nothing happened outside of some kissing. She started flaking on me and after awhile I lost interest. When I met her she was 20, and now she's 21. Most girls don't care about a man's age, so long as he's attractive on some level (personality, looks, vibe, social status, or some other thing she likes about you.)

Jenny: OMG! How are you? How have you been?

Its positive, so I stick around and we chat it up. I meet a couple of her friends and then I leave. Why? Neediness is the enemy. You've gotta project that you have your own shit going on and frankly...I do anyways. There's lots of girls to meet.

I'm working the room and then suddenly this girl comes up to me all excited. I don't know her, but she's obviously attracted to me. Unfortunately...she's also a bit large. Cute though and in decent shape. There's two kinds of fat. Sit around stoner fat and athletic but carrying some extra baggage. She's the latter, so I figure what the fuck. She initially thinks I'm gay, but I assure her with my actions that I'm not. I'm very physically aggresive with girls, especially when they like me. I seldom get the gay thing. I only get it when girls are really into me physically. Gotta love girls :)

She has a very hot friend. Grrr...this is shitty, but I figure maybe Alex can score with the hottie. It's in the man legal code, section 135, fatty vs. hottie, that when two guys are working two girls and one is hot, you jump on the fat girl for the sake of your friend. He will do the same for you on another occasion. He who does not jump on the fatty when a hot girl is being pulled by a friend is not a real man; and you are then obligated to Fuck his girlfiend when he goes out of town or gets locked up.

My girl asks me to find her friend a guy. Ha like she really needs the help. I text Alex and tell him to meet us. He comes soon after, but he already found a blonde cutie. Fuck...these are the player problems laies and gents. The girls are now pissed, but my girl is so into me that she can't keep her hands off. I start whispering in her ear some crazy sexual shit. Verbal and physical escalation are a powerful combination. Most guys don't do it, which is one reason why most guys have problems with women.

Her friend is getting hit on by guys and she's loving the attention, but doesn't like the guys. I get called on to rescue the friend from some Eurodude. I take her by the hand and drag her away. Then, bitch move as it is, she takes her friend away fom me ten minutes later to the VIP section. The VIP section is for guys with no game and the girls that like to take advantage of them. Sad fucks. In this life you don't EVER want to be one of those guys.

I go downstairs and find Jenny. Jenny is now loving me again and I take her to go dance. There's a reason men lead in dancing. Girls trust you a lot more if you can lead them in a dance, or elsewhere. I've met girls at Target and the moment I lead them to another section of the store they're a lot more invested and trusting.

Jenny and I dance and the sexual tension is rising. No kissing but lots of touching. Dancing is a good shortcut to get physical. We go back to chat with her friends a bit. Being cool with the fiends is very important. If they don't like you you're done. Less is more though. Just be cool and don't try too hard. The friends like me, but the birthday girl in the group is being dramatic and having a meltdown. I exit. Bad emotions equals bad times.

The girls from before are now tired of the VIP dorks and I'm getting texts asking where I am. I tell them to come downstairs and they do. My girl is all up on me. When girls think they might lose you they step up their game in a big way. We're making out and grinding. A lot of guys say not to be too aggressive in the club, because Its cheesy. However, in my experience Its easier to pull the girls out once you get them horny enough.

Its closing time and we head outside. The girls get into a cab and my girl says she'll text me the hotel address. They're in the process of moving to my city from a shittier city. Ideally they'd be pure tourists. Tourist girls will have all kinds of sex, because there are no social repercussions for their actions. For this reason goofy marketing tactics like "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" are popular with girls. An ex of mine called it "geographically single." Girls aren't allowed by society to be permiscuous, but in their heart of hearts they're as horny as any man, maybe moreso at certain times.

I walk off and decide to work the street for a bit. You can pick girls right off the street if your game is good and the right girl comes along. I'm having some fun and then I see Jenny coming towards me. She's got some drama going on (not a big surprise) and wants me to walk with her to meet her ride. We're walking and she starts telling me why this is the "worst night of her life." Jesus H. Christ. While men and women in Afghansitan and Iraq are having their heads cut off, poor little Jenny's guy friends got into a street scuffle and her girlfriend acted like a bitch. To her though this night is the "worst."

The funny thing about drama is that it makes girls horny. If a guy is having a bad time, horniess gets shut down. We just want the bad feeling to go away. For girls any emotion gives her a rise. I use Jenny's drama to my advantage. When she talks about how bad things are I just re-direct her attention.

Adam: Yeah it really sucks and you had a rough night, but Its so nice that we get a chance to re-connect. how cool is that.

She agrees and soon after we're making out in the street. She's getting turned on, but says

Jenny: No you're making me act bad. We can't do this right now.

I still think I can pull it off. So after backing off I try to re-escalate. Unfortunately Its not happening. WE meet up with her friend and the party is over. Ill get her another time. In the meantime I've got a text from the other girl, so I head back to my car.

I drive to the hotel knowing full well that sex is about to go down. When I get there the energy of the girls has dropped. This is the problem with alcohol and clubs. However, I know that I can bring it back with just a little physical touch. I pick my girl up and start dancing with her. Emotions always follow a change in physiology.

Soon after were in the bedroom and Its going down. I'm biting her nipples. She tells me I'm not doing it hard enough. This is only the second time I've had a girl want me to bite her nipples really hard. Typically nipples are sensitie and girls like a little nibble, but not a vampire, skin piercing bite. This girl wants it though, so I give it to her. Its going good...then she stops me. Girls will oftne resist right before sex. So I back off, re-initiate and Its going further. Wash, rinse, repeat. She Isn't having it. I think the fact that her friend wasn't getting laid was a problem. I've had sex with girls before that had this same issue, but in this case the problem was enough for her to not get laid. Sometimes girls will agree that both have to be getting laid or no dice. Sometimes girls just get weird. Either way, Its 5:00 AM and I've had enough.

I go home with a hard dick and a though it my head...why were the larger women attacking me tonight? Dr. Wayne Dyer would say that I manifested the large women into my life. He might be onto something. When you start with one chubby girl you start to notice others. The others feel this energy and it just continues. Maybe I should start with the hottest girl in the club? As I don't really care on what happens Its not a bad idea. Girls are girls and I've had quite a range. Attracting the ones I want is a roll of the dice. For this reason I keep the net open in the event the big fish (or slimmer one in this case) comes along, and she always does eventually.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Adam's way: The beginning

Greetings everyone and thank you for visiting my page. In this first entry I hope to share a little background information about myself and what I do when I go out at night (and sometimes the day.) Hopefully this post will give some context to the stories I share.

Disclaimer: This page will be entirely anonymous. I will not give out my identity or the identity of others in my story. The best reason I can give you is that the nature of the topics on this page are adult, personal, and explicit. I want to maintain my privacy and wish to respect the privacy of others.

Nevertheless everything on this page will be true. Some conversations may be shortened or changed slightly in order to read better, but no evets shall be altered to make me look good, bad, sad, etc.

So what is it that I do? I go out and talk to lots of people, mostly girls. I get their numbers, sometimes I take them on dates, and when all is giong my way we skip all that bullshit and get right to the sex. Yes, sometimes I take girls straight home from the bar. Its fun. Of course I do enjoy an emotional connection like any other human. However, when it comes down to it, I'm mostly interested in women for the sex and honest men will agree that their primary interest in women is sexual. To say that I'm Casanova would be a lie. However, it would be truthful that I sleep with more girls than Joe average, get rejected by many more girls than him, and I approach a lot more.

What kind of guy does this? Well, I'd say I'm average to good looking (depending upon personal taste in guys.) I was an athlete in high school and college. I have a masters degree. I have a full tim job. It pays decent but I'm FAR from wealthy. I don't drink or do any drugs. I'm in my mid thirties, but people tend to think I'm younger. I like playing guitar and singing. Girls say I'm good in bed. I have friends, but not a very large extended social network. I'v never been married, but I've had several girlfriends. No kids. My parents are still together and are relativly sane. I've never been to jail or been in any significant trouble. All american boy anyone?



I guess whats difference is that I don't play by their rules. Who's they? Oh you know...the same ones that told you life would be like a disney movie or that starring in your own reality show is the ticket to a happy life. I chose a different path. I don't want what I've been told I should want. Here's a short list:

Marriage
One girlfriend
Monogamy
Kids
Compromise

Why? For me these entanglements are ultimately limiting. You'll notice I said "for me." If you're happily married, monogamous, celibate, or all three, I wish you the very best. Enjoy all life has to offer and I'll do the same, on MY own terms. Ultimately in this life we have to take a stand and go for what we beleive is right, even if many others believe it to be wrong. Before you get mad, understand that I'm not heavily into manipulation. Being upfront and honest (with a touch of social skill) is something that I value as much as my freedom. I've found honesty often helps me get what I want, since Its so fucking rare. In sum, I'm not trying to trick or cheat on anyone.

I will choose not to defend, condone, or promote the way I live my life and I would urge the rest of you to do the same. If a certain way of living is good enough for you or you just want to find out if it is, then do it, don't apologise for it; and most importantly feel free to evolve. I don't feel tied to the "player" identity. Like any living thing I will evolve into everything I am meant to be.

So make up your own mind about what works an what doesn't in dating. Live a life of your choosing and one that you find most fulfilling. I'm just here to tell my story. Not every post will result in a sex romp, although I have compelte faith that some of them will. If nothing else It'l be fun to read some of the crazy shit I do when I go out. I know I'll have fun writing.