Monday, May 31, 2010

It just doesn't seem fair...

Then again nobody said it would be fair, this whole dating thing. When you want something too much you don't get it and when you don't want it, Its given to you on a silver platter.

I met her a little bit after midnight. Curly hair, blue eyes, nice figure, but there was that certain something else. The spark. There's nothing more attractive to me than positivity. She looked like the happiest girl there. I waited a few minutes and then she looked over. Our eyes met and I motioned with my hand for her to come over. She came over and started kissing me.

We spent the rest of the night dancing and making out. Two A.M. rolls around and I realize I fucked up. I've been too busy having fun and I don't know where this girl came from, who she rode with, and where they're headed afterwrds. Logistics make or break an evening. Girls are free to have a good time and let things go. A man's gotta lead the way.

I quickly find out the deal. She came with her friends in cabs. She doesn't know where they're going after. This is a good thing. I tell her that I have a plan. I'm going to kidnap her and take her to my neighborhood. She says "I don't know...I'm going to have to think about that." A few minutes later I take her hand and say "Lets go." She follows me and we walk to my car. Nice save! Its going good and then her phone rings...disaster. She has her friend's keys. Now we've gone from going back to my place to dropping her off at her friend's condo.

Sigh...well Its not entirely lost. I'm sober and I can give her a safe ride. That means I can be trusted enough to meet up another time. Actually, that sounds pretty good. She's positive, happy, and emotions are contageous.

We shoot a couple of texts over the next week and decide to meet up. Its a causal meetup, which is good, but she's with other people and I don't know who they are...bad. I tell Robbie and Kino to be around in case I need a wing, but it turns out I don't need them. Its a double. She shows up with a guy and another girl that are together. We all hangout together for awhile and then head over to my favorite karaoke bar. I sign up for a song, but there's a nice long wait and a dancefloor.

We dance and makeout. A funny thing happens when you're with an attractive girl and there are other attractive girls present. That's right, the other girls start looking at you and smiling (maybe salivating.) On another night, with no attractive girls on my arm, these same girls could give a SHIT? No. By myself Its work. I have to demonstrate that I'm cool and why I can be trusted. When you're with attractive girls the work is done.

Her friends leave and we're alone. I've been asked to give her a ride back to the friend's house later. That doesn't bode well for sex, but you can't fight the current, lest you drown. Gotta go with it.

I sing my song and I do an adequate job. Its not my best performance, but far from my worst. She likes it. We leave the bar soon after. I take her to the beach, but I'm holding back a little. I could try to go a little farther. The vibe is sexual, but she's not buying yet. I tell her that we should go get the best pancakes in the whole world. Now to be honest the restaurant has good pancakes, but not quite the best ever. However, it pays to oversell wherever you're going.

We go to the restaurant and continue to get comfortable with each other. Being comfortable is the most important thing. Good positive emotions. If there's any fear or discomfort you're done. Its comfortable, but not quite comfortable enough. I could have asked her to come home with me, but her friend was expecting her. Too much judgement...and dare I say not quite enough comfort.

I take her home and head off. Reflecting on the evening I can't help but wonder why Its so backwards. When you're alone the hot girls don't want you. When you're already with a hot girl, they want you in the worst way. When you're dangerous the girls want you to take them. When you get them home safely, they won't be taken anywhere. Women wonder why men are such jerks. I guess we have to be.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

What's his secret?

I don't go out in my own neighborhood a lot. Its a party scene here, but kinda college. I prefer downtown but tonight I just wanted to be home. Geno comes over to my house and we shoot the shit for awhile before going out. Our plan is the same as always. Go out, talk to girls and let nature take Its course.

We hit the town and Its a little dead. There's girls out, but the vibe Isn't so good. Conversations are forced. Is there anything worse on this planet aside from forced conversation? The worst word in dating is "try." Anytime we're trying to make something happen we're doomed.

Geno Isn't feeling the vibe, so he heads back to his neighborhood. I don't want to go with. I've done it too many times. The night Isn't going exactly the way you want, so you just go looking for stimulation elsewhere. However, that's PRECISELY what's making you unhappy. The search for stimulation, rather than feeling good with what is.

I leave the bar and head up the street. Tommy 5's. Its this really shit club (as always club names are changed to protect the innocent and the shitty clubs :) I don't know why I went in. I've never really had a good time there. However, as always you never know. Sometimes the worst situations bring about the very best.

I come in and within a couple of minutes I start chatting a group of girls. There's two cute ones and one that's not so cute. I talk to the one that's not so cute. Why?? Well, what do most stupid guys do. They come up, start talking to the cute girl and completely ignore the chubby friend. Chubby friend proceeds to feel horrible and BLOCKS. Well not this here stupid guy :) Win the friends and you win the girl. I'm chatting up the girl that gets the least attention and go figure the cute ones get interested. Out of the two cute girls, there's one that stands out. Stacy. She's tall, athletic, has very curly hair and big blue eyes. She's looking at me with a brightness. Brightness? I don't know exactly what that means, but Its the only word I can use to describe it.

The girls and I are not alone. There's a group of guys that have moved in. I can tell right off the bat that their game Isn't very good, but they're not blocking me, so I guess Its good enough. Work with what you have, not with what you don't have.

I tell Stacy that Its time to dance and take her away to the dancefloor. She tells her friends to come. This is both good and bad. The good thing is she followed me. When girls follow your lead with one request, they'll follow suit with others. We get to the dancefloor and very soon it gets physical. She's not very shy and doesn't mind making out in front of her friends. However, this Isn't good. Its not bad because I want her to be shy, but it means she doesn't need me to isolate her to move things forward. Typically when there's no isolation there's no sex.

I'm escalating and the other guys are stalling. They're spinning the usual web of crap. "afterparty!" "can I get you a drink!" Not that those things are inherently bad, but there's a lack of leadership in the execution. They're not having their own fun, so much as TRYING to keep the girls there and the girls know it. Girls want to have fun, they don't want to BE the fun.

We all end up going to this bar around the corner that stays open a little bit later than others. Everyone except me is drunk. Most guys have to be drunk in order to give themeselves permission to approach girls. Girls often need alcohol to give themseslves permission to let their guard down and go home with the guys. Seems like a good plan right? Wrong. Alcohol game is very inconsistent. People get dumb when they drink and if you're a guy you want to be physically and mentally competent. Its time to bounce this party. I make the call to get mexican food.

We all get to the restaurant and now the other guys are REALLY fucking up. One is getting emotional over some crap that happened at the bar. The others just sound drunk and stupid. They're not escalating and the girls are growing bored. Well except for my girl. She's getting a massage. We're eye gazing and kissing. Romance at Alberto's mexican food :)

The friends call a cab and the night very suddenly comes to an end. Looking back, I should have figured out where they were going and asked to ride with them. Now I'm holding my dick with three drunk dudes in a restaurant. One of the guys says "so...it seemed like you were doing really well there. What's the secret?" I could have launched into a diatribe about leadership and explain how women want men who are men. Men who can take control of a situation and make things happen. I didn't tell him. From what I could see these guys weren't ready to hear the truth. Some men are never ready.

The Bugs seem to get it