Monday, May 31, 2010

It just doesn't seem fair...

Then again nobody said it would be fair, this whole dating thing. When you want something too much you don't get it and when you don't want it, Its given to you on a silver platter.

I met her a little bit after midnight. Curly hair, blue eyes, nice figure, but there was that certain something else. The spark. There's nothing more attractive to me than positivity. She looked like the happiest girl there. I waited a few minutes and then she looked over. Our eyes met and I motioned with my hand for her to come over. She came over and started kissing me.

We spent the rest of the night dancing and making out. Two A.M. rolls around and I realize I fucked up. I've been too busy having fun and I don't know where this girl came from, who she rode with, and where they're headed afterwrds. Logistics make or break an evening. Girls are free to have a good time and let things go. A man's gotta lead the way.

I quickly find out the deal. She came with her friends in cabs. She doesn't know where they're going after. This is a good thing. I tell her that I have a plan. I'm going to kidnap her and take her to my neighborhood. She says "I don't know...I'm going to have to think about that." A few minutes later I take her hand and say "Lets go." She follows me and we walk to my car. Nice save! Its going good and then her phone rings...disaster. She has her friend's keys. Now we've gone from going back to my place to dropping her off at her friend's condo.

Sigh...well Its not entirely lost. I'm sober and I can give her a safe ride. That means I can be trusted enough to meet up another time. Actually, that sounds pretty good. She's positive, happy, and emotions are contageous.

We shoot a couple of texts over the next week and decide to meet up. Its a causal meetup, which is good, but she's with other people and I don't know who they are...bad. I tell Robbie and Kino to be around in case I need a wing, but it turns out I don't need them. Its a double. She shows up with a guy and another girl that are together. We all hangout together for awhile and then head over to my favorite karaoke bar. I sign up for a song, but there's a nice long wait and a dancefloor.

We dance and makeout. A funny thing happens when you're with an attractive girl and there are other attractive girls present. That's right, the other girls start looking at you and smiling (maybe salivating.) On another night, with no attractive girls on my arm, these same girls could give a SHIT? No. By myself Its work. I have to demonstrate that I'm cool and why I can be trusted. When you're with attractive girls the work is done.

Her friends leave and we're alone. I've been asked to give her a ride back to the friend's house later. That doesn't bode well for sex, but you can't fight the current, lest you drown. Gotta go with it.

I sing my song and I do an adequate job. Its not my best performance, but far from my worst. She likes it. We leave the bar soon after. I take her to the beach, but I'm holding back a little. I could try to go a little farther. The vibe is sexual, but she's not buying yet. I tell her that we should go get the best pancakes in the whole world. Now to be honest the restaurant has good pancakes, but not quite the best ever. However, it pays to oversell wherever you're going.

We go to the restaurant and continue to get comfortable with each other. Being comfortable is the most important thing. Good positive emotions. If there's any fear or discomfort you're done. Its comfortable, but not quite comfortable enough. I could have asked her to come home with me, but her friend was expecting her. Too much judgement...and dare I say not quite enough comfort.

I take her home and head off. Reflecting on the evening I can't help but wonder why Its so backwards. When you're alone the hot girls don't want you. When you're already with a hot girl, they want you in the worst way. When you're dangerous the girls want you to take them. When you get them home safely, they won't be taken anywhere. Women wonder why men are such jerks. I guess we have to be.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

What's his secret?

I don't go out in my own neighborhood a lot. Its a party scene here, but kinda college. I prefer downtown but tonight I just wanted to be home. Geno comes over to my house and we shoot the shit for awhile before going out. Our plan is the same as always. Go out, talk to girls and let nature take Its course.

We hit the town and Its a little dead. There's girls out, but the vibe Isn't so good. Conversations are forced. Is there anything worse on this planet aside from forced conversation? The worst word in dating is "try." Anytime we're trying to make something happen we're doomed.

Geno Isn't feeling the vibe, so he heads back to his neighborhood. I don't want to go with. I've done it too many times. The night Isn't going exactly the way you want, so you just go looking for stimulation elsewhere. However, that's PRECISELY what's making you unhappy. The search for stimulation, rather than feeling good with what is.

I leave the bar and head up the street. Tommy 5's. Its this really shit club (as always club names are changed to protect the innocent and the shitty clubs :) I don't know why I went in. I've never really had a good time there. However, as always you never know. Sometimes the worst situations bring about the very best.

I come in and within a couple of minutes I start chatting a group of girls. There's two cute ones and one that's not so cute. I talk to the one that's not so cute. Why?? Well, what do most stupid guys do. They come up, start talking to the cute girl and completely ignore the chubby friend. Chubby friend proceeds to feel horrible and BLOCKS. Well not this here stupid guy :) Win the friends and you win the girl. I'm chatting up the girl that gets the least attention and go figure the cute ones get interested. Out of the two cute girls, there's one that stands out. Stacy. She's tall, athletic, has very curly hair and big blue eyes. She's looking at me with a brightness. Brightness? I don't know exactly what that means, but Its the only word I can use to describe it.

The girls and I are not alone. There's a group of guys that have moved in. I can tell right off the bat that their game Isn't very good, but they're not blocking me, so I guess Its good enough. Work with what you have, not with what you don't have.

I tell Stacy that Its time to dance and take her away to the dancefloor. She tells her friends to come. This is both good and bad. The good thing is she followed me. When girls follow your lead with one request, they'll follow suit with others. We get to the dancefloor and very soon it gets physical. She's not very shy and doesn't mind making out in front of her friends. However, this Isn't good. Its not bad because I want her to be shy, but it means she doesn't need me to isolate her to move things forward. Typically when there's no isolation there's no sex.

I'm escalating and the other guys are stalling. They're spinning the usual web of crap. "afterparty!" "can I get you a drink!" Not that those things are inherently bad, but there's a lack of leadership in the execution. They're not having their own fun, so much as TRYING to keep the girls there and the girls know it. Girls want to have fun, they don't want to BE the fun.

We all end up going to this bar around the corner that stays open a little bit later than others. Everyone except me is drunk. Most guys have to be drunk in order to give themeselves permission to approach girls. Girls often need alcohol to give themseslves permission to let their guard down and go home with the guys. Seems like a good plan right? Wrong. Alcohol game is very inconsistent. People get dumb when they drink and if you're a guy you want to be physically and mentally competent. Its time to bounce this party. I make the call to get mexican food.

We all get to the restaurant and now the other guys are REALLY fucking up. One is getting emotional over some crap that happened at the bar. The others just sound drunk and stupid. They're not escalating and the girls are growing bored. Well except for my girl. She's getting a massage. We're eye gazing and kissing. Romance at Alberto's mexican food :)

The friends call a cab and the night very suddenly comes to an end. Looking back, I should have figured out where they were going and asked to ride with them. Now I'm holding my dick with three drunk dudes in a restaurant. One of the guys says " seemed like you were doing really well there. What's the secret?" I could have launched into a diatribe about leadership and explain how women want men who are men. Men who can take control of a situation and make things happen. I didn't tell him. From what I could see these guys weren't ready to hear the truth. Some men are never ready.

The Bugs seem to get it

Monday, April 19, 2010

Dating Experts and Jennifer Love Hewett

In life there are a lot of self proclaimed "experts." Expert can mean one of two things. Either "I know more than the average joe" or "I think I know more than the average joe." In dating it tends to be the latter. The bookstores and radio talk shows are rife with dating and relationship "experts." Most recently Jennifer Love Hewett put out a book on love and relationships. Well Love is her middle name, so of course she's an expert! Its very cute Jennifer, but you're no more qualified than anyone else. I don't care how many vajayjays you vadazzle or whatever other bullshit you're into.

I was reading about Jennifer's little guide to dating book in WebMd magazine. Its that rag you read while you're waiting for the doctor. I've seen her interviewed a couple of times and have been none too impressed. Well, she didn't dissapoint in this case either. Here are just a few gems from Jennifer.

1. Women should remember that they dress up for other women not men. Don't worry so much about it.

2. You should try to find the person that gives you the least blisters, regardless of how attractive you think they are.

3. Take your new mate around your friends, because they'll be a better judge than you.

Wow...just wow. This is what qualifies as expert advice? Lets address the first myth. Women dress up for other women? No. no no no no no. I've heard this before and Its bullshit. Women, unless they are lesbians, look their best to be competitive in the gene pool. Women are not dressing up to impress other women, they're dressing up to COMPETE with other women. What are they competing for? Alpha males.

Since not every woman can land an alpha male (they only make up about 2-5% of the population) Jennifer advises that you SETTLE for the person whom gives you the least number of blisters? So the answer is to find someone you can just tolerate. Is this happiness? Is this what we should be after in life? Life is far too short. Find someone you genuinely enjoy and if you no longer enjoy their company then find another. Settling is for the weak.

Of course, according to Jennifer, the big decisions should never fall on your own shoulders. This is why you enlist your friends to judge your mate. Their approval is what matters, not your own happiness. What? Are you serious? I guess it makes sense to Jennifer. Afterall she's stupid, therefore everyone else must be stupid too. She's the expert...remember?

I've said this before. Stop reading and start taking action. Drop the cosmo mag. Turn off the radio. Go out and date. Meet lots of people. Keep your mind open and recognize the patterns and habits in your dating and social life. Accept that which can't be changed and do the best to change what you can for the better. Never blindly accept advice from any source and don't reley on your friends or family to make the most important decisions for your own happiness.

Listen for yourselves. Kindrid spirits hahaha...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Women, men, and Their Dating Choices

Women and men alike do a fair amount of bitching about differences between the sexes. One of the most common complaints is the choices the opposite sex makes in the selection of a mate. Does this sound naseously familiar?

"Why do girls always go for badboys? What about me I'm nice?"

"Why are men so shallow? They all want plastic barbie dolls, not real women with their own opinions?"

Firstly, let me say I'm not big on whining about that which cannot be changed. Its like complaining about tides "why would the moon do such a thing? Its unfair. The moon should change." Futile. In the meantime, people that accept the tides, learn how to use it to their advantage. A day at the beach is far more pleasant with knowlege and acceptance. So lets first accept our differences.

Accept that men want sex from beautiful women and a variety of women. Knowing this ladies it would be important to do what you can with what you have. Eat right, go to the gym religiously and refrain from drinking and smoking. We seek out gentically gifted women, but variety is even more important. Most guys would choose variety over one beautiful woman. Don't believe it? Hugh Grant. Accept that men seek variety and don't let it bug you. Its not a personal attack when a man wants to sleep with another woman, Its his nature. Let it be.

Although looks ARE important, looks are NOT everything for men. Probably the least recognized way to get a man interested in you, on a relationship level, is to lower your maintenance number. Your maintenance number on a scale of 1 - 10 would judge how much effort needs to go into maintaining a relationship with you. The lower the number the better. So if a woman is a 1, she's nearly one hundred percent self sufficient, doesn't complain about anything, and doesn't act neurotic or find problems where there are none. A 10...well you know how they behave. Yes your behavior counts. Being difficult is unnatractive. Men love bitches? No we hate bitches. PHD or GED is irrelevant. A woman is never entitled to a be a perpetual bitch, regardless of education, income, or social status. The best way to avoid becoming a bitch is to avoid complaining at all costs unless something TRULY crosses your boundries (ie. abusive or grossly inconsiderate behavior.) Don't manufacture problems and then give these problems power by discussing them with your girlfriends. Accept that your emotions don't equal REAL problems, only problems in your own mind. Let the emotion run Its course and if It's still a problem for you, then have a heart to heart with your man.

So if men seek variety and beauty, then what do women seek? Badboys. At least they seek badboys during the prime of their lives (18-30.) Here's what a lot of guys don't realize about badboys. Badboys can be nice. In fact women prefer it. However, the badboys have other qualities that make them attractive. Firstly, badboys do what they do without permission. That's not being mean, that's being strong. Having faith in yourself is a strength and women respond to strength. Badboys, don't put up with any bullshit either, from other men and other women. Again, this communicates strength. Nice? Mean? Irrelevant. Be strong.

What guys should do to communicate strength is to firstly stop catering to women. Don't do anything for a woman who hasn't earned it. Don't say what you think they will like. Say what YOU like. Don't change your plans with your friends to be with a woman. Make plans and maybe she can come along for the ride. Your actions should demonstrate power, authority, and dominance. If these are qualities you lack then the good news is they CAN be cultivated. Look for articles and books on developing this type of character. Your character is MOST important. Character is more important than the money you make, your looks and certaintly far more important than being nice.

In closing I would like to say that it is the responsibility of the individual, man or woman to make the best of their dating lives. Nobody is entitled and bitching gets you nowhere. Accept what can't be changed and take the right actions necessary to get what you want. Human behavior is relatively predictable. Use this knowlege to your benefit.

Here's a word from a lady with big teeth...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Here's why I don't have any female friends

It was a great week. I had a little time off from work, so I got to go out and play on weeknights. I do go out on weeknights, but generally I don't stay out too late and Its more about just being social and keeping myself warm for the weekend adventures. This week I got to do a little bit more.

My friend Geno doesn't presently have a day job, so he's always down to go out. It's Wednesday night and we decide to go downtown to see what happens there on a Wednesday. It turns out to be fairly dead. However, we keep our spirits high because you never know.

One thing I've learned from going out so much is that nights are VERY random. You could go to the most exclusive, packed club with the hottest girls and an all access pass to the VIP with bottle service and NOTHING happens. Then at 3 A.M. you go to Denny's for late night and you end up pulling a dime piece from the restaurant. There's no rhyme or reason. You NEVER want to judge a night as "dead" or "bad" because things can change very quickly. The most important thing is to stay positive.

We walk past this crappy karaoke bar and I see three blonde heads. I say to Geno "hey lets go in there for a minute." We go in and I pretty much pounce on these girls. I say "what are we singing?" Soon after the girls decide I should sing a duet with one of them. I choose Elvis "I can't help falling in love with you." I go back to Geno and say "you know what these girls aren't that hot. This is a good opportunity for me to work on befriending girls." He's in agreement.

Geno and I had talked about my difficulties making female friends. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, Its just difficult for men and women to have non-romantic friendships. There's almost always some level of sexual tension between men and women. Typically women are able to befriend guys that don't have a great deal of sexual intent. There's a word for these guys. Gay. Straight men with many female friends typically want something else from the women but are able to hide it. It goes the other way around too. Guys with girlfriends can have female friends, but oftentimes the girlfriend will get jealous and ruin it. So Its tough. Its even tougher for me, because I have a high sex drive and I'm always interested in meeting new women. I CAN'T hide it and even if I could I woulden't. All that said I would genuinely enjoy having female friends. Women are typically better conversationalists and there's some really cool ones out there.

So now I'm intent on befriending these girls. I go up and sing my song with Jane (names have been changed of course!) She's not much of a singer. I'm not a great singer by any means, but I've had some training and I know how to project my voice. If you're loud and in key, to most people that's good. So now she thinks I'm a superstar. We go to the dancefloor and she's all about it. I go back to Geno and say "ahhh man I'm supposed to befriend this girl, but I can tell she's already liking me." Geno apparently has already shown pictures of his pierced dick to one of the friends. While this sounds shocking and appauling to most people, that's precisely why girls often like it. He's got balls and balls count when it comes to women. There's no going back to the friendzone now.

I say to Jane "hey come with me real quick." and take her by the hand to the area by the bathroom. Saying "real quick" is alway good because it take the pressure off. Its not a big committment Its "real quick." Its funny, normally I'll put myself against the wall and pull girls in or throw them agaisnt the wall, but this time she puts herself on the wall and grabs me. I pull back a little, then she REALLY grabs me. Pulling back amps the attraction. It makes the girls want you more. We makeout. There's no spectators, so I put her hand on my shaft. She keeps it there, which is a good sign. I tell her "you know I shoulden't do this but..." She says "but WHAT???..." Anticipation is always good. When girls wonder what you're going to say or do next Its a good place to be. I say "come here" and pull her towards the bathroom. She says "nooooooooo!!!!" haha. A bathroom pull is a tall order in a public place, but nothing ventured nothing gained.

Apprently Geno has also tried to pull to the bathroom. However, that was also a no go. Geno gets a booty text and I'm his ride. I have the girl's number already, so maybe I can still pull it off. I take Geno home and send a text to the girl. She asks if Geno is still with me. He's not, which I guess was a deal breaker. Sometimes in order to get laid a girl's friends have to get laid too. I'll probably get together with this one soon and we both know for what activity. That's good I guess, but shit...can I not just meet a girl out and build a friendship without the need for condoms? Its tough, but I'll keep trying.

The girl in this video seems really cool. She'd probably make an awesome friend. We could hangout and play BR covers...wait she's kinda cute...dammit.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Nonjudgement...Sex Ensues

Its another Friday night. I'm out with Geno, Robbie, and Mikey. Geno is a dating coach and has a group of students along with him. Geno's neighborhod is good for meeting girls because you can bounce from bar to bar and take girs with you. Girls tend to trust you more when they follow you around. Its more like a first date than a bar encounter. Actually Its more like a good friend you've known for years.

Early in the night I'm walking by the dancefloor and see a girl yawning. I say "hey! no yawning!" She smiles. I'm walking around the bar basically saying random shit to whomever is there. I like this approach because there's no pressure. People can enjoy my approach or not. When you're watching a girl all night and FINALLY decide to appraoch the pressure is on. You really care how it turns out and that's not a good place to be.

I'm walking down the street and I see two girls helping their drunk friend. I start singing "I get by with a little help from my friends" while looking them in the eye. They like it and we start chatting. I make little accusations about the girls being up to "trouble" "no good" "naughty things." In truth I have no fucking clue what they're up to. What I'm actually doing is screening to find out what they ARE up for. I start getting physical with the girls and kiss each of them. Then I pull them in for a three way makeout. No go. Oh well no threesome. haha.

I move on and see two attractive girls walking into a bar. I go in and approach. One of them remembers me. It didn't go too well the last time I talked to her, but she doesn't remember that. All she knows is I'm familiar and familiar means more comfort. Her friend likes the way I smell, but she's complaining that I'm touching too much. She says "girls don't like that." Its funny how women assume that what they don't like ALL WOMEN don't like. I am very touchy and deliberately so. Again this is a screening measure. Girls that want to be groped will be cool with it. She apprently doesn't want to be groped tonight and has communicated as such. I back off a bit, but tease her about it. Teasing is good becuase it makes light of the situation and shows I don't care too much. I don't. I might be able get this girl, but I don't think Its gonna happen tonight.

I go back to the first bar. The girl I told not to yawn pulls me over to dance. I dance with her. She's down. This girl is a very good dancer. I'm not. I spent my youth playing sports not dancing. However I am comfortable touching and being on the dancefloor. Good enough to work the dancefloor. After a couple of songs I pull her to the patio area. Lead lead lead. I tell her about how I like nails and pulling hair. I dig my nails into her back. Soon after we start making out. I try to get her to leave with me, but she's not ready yet. We go back and dance some more and then I try again. No go. I get her number and tell her I'll meet up with her later.

I leave the bar to go hangout with Mikey and Geno. They've got some good stuff going on. Robbie has probably already pulled a girl. I decide that it was stupid to give up so quickly on the last girl. She obviously wants something TONIGHT, not a stupid phone number. A B C's...Always Be Closing.

I go back. I tell her my friends left. We go back to the dancefoor and we see he friend leaving the bar with a guy. Perfect. Now the judgement is gone. Judgement is the #1 reason girls can't get laid. I tell her a few minutes later "lets get out of here."

We leave and my intentions are to take her to my car and either have sex with her there or take her back to my house. We're walking towards my car and then she says "my house is this way." Green light! We go back to her house and she says she wants to go to her neighbors because they have a fire pit. Arrrgh. Its 2 AM. I'm ready for sex, but I guess I can tolerate for a short while.

We go to the firepit. I introduce myself and one of the other girls recognizes me "hey you're robbie's friend." haha go figure. Robbie is one of the players in this part of town. So long as we don't cross swords I'm cool with it :) The same girl was dancing with a guy all night that they call "Waldo" as in "where's waldo." She's complaining that he slapped her ass and he didn't seem like "that kind of guy." The thing is she doesn't mind that kind of guy at all, but becuase this guy projected himself as something else, it was a problem when later on he demonstrated that he had a dick afterall. Another girl is on her phone texting a guy to try and get him over. She says "dammit he needs to come over. I have to get laid tonight!" At a certain hour of the night girls drop the bullshit. Girls want to get laid as much if not more than any man, but they're not SUPPOSED to, so they hide it. Its crazy really how guarded girls are when really all they want is to get bent over.

I'm getting bored so I tell my girl "hey lets go, the fire is making me sleepy." It has nothing to do with the fire. I'm just horny and want to have sex already. We go back to her place. I throw her against the wall and bite her neck. She loves it. We go to her bedroom and get undressed. There's no resistance so I take charge. Dominance is an attractive feature. Girls crave it. We go at it pretty much all night. Its good, animalistic. I always do my best in bed. If you're good you get return visits and so long as I enjoy the sex I'm usually down for more. Its funny, because her roomates are all getting laid too and we hear the sweet sounds so to speak. haha. Pure entertainment. She buys me breakfast in the morning. I love pancakes and beacon. The coffee is good too.

Before I drive off I tell her that we should hangout again and I mean it. I don't judge women for wanting what is only natural. There are no sluts in my reality. A woman that sleeps with me on the same night gets the same respect as the one that makes me wait. Often times...she gets more respect for allowing herself to do what she really wants.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Approach = success

My friend Owen says that in order to be successful one must lower his criteria for success. At first this seems like a "low expectation" statement. However, that's not true. Successful people often start off very unsuccessful. Their burning desire for success and passion for the work itself is what fuels their energy. Continuing to fail over and over again, while keeping your eyes open to improvement is what makes improvement possible. Success is not quitting even when all seems like a loss and your outcomes aren't what they should be. Ironically, when you finally do acheive some success, you begin to expect the most positive outcome and you feel unsuccessful when it doesn't happen for you. Now there's something to live up to. The fire dims and the burning desire is extinguished. Sports taught me this lesson time and time again.

In dating it is especially true that one must lower their criteria for success. Too many people want perfection in all areas of dating and this leads to massive frustration. Frustration is the seed of inaction and nothing gets you worse results in dating than inaction.

If Success in dating is taking action, then what is a man to do? Approach. Women approach you now and then, but it is the responsibility of the man to take the lead. This last weekend approaching was the only criteria I used for success.

On Saturday I went to Club Swing. I arrived with three other friends of mine, Geno, Robbie, and matt. We like to hang out together, but all of us understand why we're at the club. Yes we're at the club to meet women. Women say they're there to dance, drink, etc. This is true, but in their heart of hearts they're all hoping to meet that one guy. That guy could be any of us.

I approach a group of about eight girls. This is terrible logistically, because it can be VERY tricky separating a girl from her pack. Neverthless, success is approach and nothing more. The girls are relatively warm except for one that gives me a nasty face. She says "I don't get guys. What are thinking? What makes them think girls are interested in them?" This is hilarious. I can't speak for all men, but personally I could give a fuck whether a girl is interested or not. It doesn't even factor into why I'm approaching. The approach itself is fun and you don't know what's going to happen until you do approach. A better question could be, why WOULDEN'T I approach???I say back "I don't know. Mostly I'm thinking about molesting girls. I have a white van outside." She freaks out and takes her friends away. haha.

I meet this really cute blonde girl. She likes me, but I get the feeling that her night is not one that will involve a lot of madness. A. she has to work in the morning and B. I can feel it in her body. She's tense. Tension is not good. I move onto a girl sitting on a couch. I sit down next to her and assume familiarity.If you approach as a longime friend, people will more likely treat you as such, stranger or not. I say "This seat is cold. Luckily I'm a mammal and I make my own heat." I say whatever pops into my head. It doesn't have to be good. In fact the shittier your opening line the better. If you try to be too clever it appears planned and who wants to talk to a guy that plans everything out. Boring delux. On the fly/spontaneous is the way to be.

It goes well, but a funny thing happens. Because I assumed familiarity a little too well she thinks I'm with her party. After maybe thirty minutes she says "so how do you know joey" I say "uhhh I don't." Then she says "So you're just some random creeper?" I say "Yes that's exactly what I am. I'm your stalker. I've been following you now for some time and I'm glad we finally had a chance to meet." After that it steadily deteriorates. haha. I coulda played this one solid, but I still coulden't resist. If its funny to me I say it.

I approached all night. There wasn't too much going on, except for one drunk girl I could have easily pulled home. I didn't. Its really no fun babysitting a sloppy drunk. No fun for her or you and it leads to too much weirdness. I go home. I approached and thus the night is a success.

On Saturday I intended to stay in my neighborhood but ended up going to hang out with Geno, Robbie, and my roomate in Geno's neighborhood. We go to Moonstone and Its pretty much dead. Independent man as I am I go to McKinney's, a bar across the way to see whats going on. I approach a blonde on the dancefloor while she's dancing and immediately Its on. After one dance I lead her off the dancefloor and outside. We start making out and escalate physically. I decide Its time to take her to my car. I'm leading her away and then out of the shadows comees her annoying friend.

"NOOOOO! You can't leave past this point right here" she points to the part of the bar on the outside where the windows end. Arrgh. Well, since I can't have it right now I get the number and figure I'll give it a try later on.

I decide to go back to my own neighborhood. I head to The Ox, which is a bar that has a little dancefloor, but is mostly just a social place. There's a lot of loosely organized social circles, which can make it a bit odd when you're alone. However, as in all things, when you're comfortable, other people are comfortable as well. I know the doorguy, so I skip the line and go in. There's a very hot brunette with a group of other girls. I go right in and start chatting her. Within a few minutes I pull her to the dancefloor. I'm not an amazing dancer, but that's ok. Just being comfortable makes me alright. This girl is a bit shy. Its odd how sometimes very attractive girls can be shy, but fuck don't try to "make sense" of girls. Its an emotional/hormonal trip for them, not a mathematical equation.

I'm in a good place with this girl. She's following my lead. However, she's with a bachelorette party. Ugggh. Not good. Big groups are tough and Bachelorette parties are statisically the worst group for hookups. It can happen, but for the most part Its not worth your effort. Nonthless I'm really liking this girl and it appears mutual. We go back and meet her friends. The friends of course are in silly bachelorette mode. Very attractive girls mind you, but not worth the effort. I'm able to keep my girl isolated for pretty long periods of time, which is good. When you're able to isolate a girl she's far less self conscious. The key is to get her from isolation in the bar to isolation elsewhere. The car is a good place. While car sex can be tricky, it can also be a lot of fun :)

I try to get her to the car twice, but she just won't leave the group. This is trouble, but now that I've invested my time I have to keep going. Its closing time and she still won't leave her party. I tell her that we can go get food around the corner. She says "ok, but I have to tell my girls." I say "lets go and you can text them and let them know where we are." She's ok with that. I Lead her to Denny's around the corner. We're in Denny's and alone. Good. Ten minutes later the cavalry comes. Fuck! Well now I'm babysitting 8 girls. Normally that's VERY hard. However, I actually seem to be winning over the group and as it turns out the girl I'm with is the den mom. A man that hangs with the den mom commands the respect of the rest of the girls.

The biggest problem with venue changes is the inevitable drop in energy. You go from dancing, alcohol, and Lady Gaga, to being in Denny's where the food is shit, the coffee is weak, and some drunk dude is vommiting into a bag...yes really in the restaurant. We eat and then Its time to go. I try to get my girl to ride with me, but no go. Fuck it one more try. I tell her that if she doesn't come with me I'm going to have to pick her up and take her. All with a smile on my face of course. She says "sorry but I can't leave my girls. I say "ok then" I pick her up, put her over my shoulder and start to run away. Then I hear "NOOOOO you can't take my sister!!!" Tough to fight with the sister, so I put her down and she says "Hey I had a really good time." Haha, she coulda had a better time. We both know it. However, I'm ok with it. If approaching is the only criteria for success then I'm a resounding success and deserve a massive pat on the back for all of my weekend adventures.

Here's a word on success by Dr. Stephen Covey